Take Heed. A Danger To Us All.
Intelligence has come forth from our Intrepid Reporters despatched to the interior of the Hub of our Grand Enterprise: Liverpool.
Editors,
A new and most terrifying narcotic is being distributed among the citizenry. Unlike the Indosinese Bhang or the Chinee opium or, the Pharmacists Laudanums, this pharmaceutical does not need to enter the tissues to make affect and effect upon the body. It is known that the Directorate have developed a therapeutic pharmakon that operates in exactly the manner described by us Intrepid Reporters. Yet, the report we bring is of a Counterfeit and Piratickal substance.
For the safety and sanity of citizens, precise details are being witheld. There is neither honour nor sense in disseminating the details of what may be a vast criminal undertaking: the Piracy of Directorate Property.
What can be told is that there are nine known “Acids” which form salt crystals. When imbibed, in the presence of environmental stimulations these Acids have complex effects upon the Person. Without the Motivations of Edison, it is clear tha the Unwary will laspe into mysticism, irrationalism and finally the Bedlamite will be secured for their safety and the safety of the Empire. The Acids form an intestinal bezoar which, researches have shown, is the source of the mental activities induced.
The chemical substances are: Calliopic Sal Mesmeratum, Cliotic Sal Mesmeratum, Eratatic Sal Mesmeratum, Euterpatic Sal Mesmeratum, Melpomenatic Sal Mesmeratum, Polyhymniatic Sal Mesmeratum, Terpsichoric Sal Mesmeratum, Thaliatic Sal Mesmeratum and Uraniatic Sal Mesmeratum. These form bezoars within the human ailimentary canal. As Physicks have noted for many centuries: intestinal blockages can be fatal and bezoars are most certainly the source of obstruction. For this reason, alone, Citizens should be wary.
The blending of the Mesemratum is a difficult and arduous matter to be undertaken only by highly qualified Scientists in controlled conditions. Under no circumstances should any person of frail, nervous, weakened or debilitate condition imbibe anything other than a prescribed blend of Mesmeratum. The consequences are too horridly profound to contemplate and it is not certain that even the most powerful of Reorientation could rescue such a stranded citizen. The only possible destination might well be the Bedlam or the Colonies.
The ultimate goal of the Directorate is to Mesmeratum – already discovered and purified in Directorate laboratories – to provide a therapeutic and ongoing Orientation for all Citizens. This aspiration is endangered – indeed, in peril – from Piracies and the machinations of criminal societies.
These complex and dangerous substances are being sold as “Terpsichoric Mesmeric Acid” or “TMA” by unscrupulous vendors. Under no circumstances should Citizens, Shareholder or Employees of the Directorate partake of this lethal substance.
This is a Public Safety announcement and we beseech all concerned to take heed.
Provide Intelligences to the Local Telegraphy Office, Post Haste. Do not, under any circumstances, approach vendors but make them known to the appropriate authorities.
Signed and agreed & c.,
the Intrepid Reporters:
Elizabeth ‘Pearl’ Sherbourne Greene’s
Cornelius Thorpe
Florence ‘Florrie’ Stopforth-Ramsbotham
Baines Eddingbridge
Archibald Doulthwaite
Constance Privett
Dustable Coverage
Leopold Cottenham-Privilege
Halsbury Escher-Holt
Hinton Kelso-Rufford
Rodery Marrow
& c.
Editors Note: our Intrepid Reporters were invited from Protectorates and Franchises of the Directorate to the Heart of the Empire to create a guide book for future visitors. We, the Publishers and Editors of this Journal, do not flinch from their discoveries. We shall lay bare – in the most responsible manner – even the most dark discoveries that our Intrepid Reporters do make. Yet we beg our Citizens to indulge our cautions to Safety and Healthiness and to refrain from the public reading of these reports within earshot of Children, the Mentally Infirm, Certain Ladies and Gentlemen of a vapourous disposition.
